


Her Partners Were Pathetic

by abc123z



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abc123z/pseuds/abc123z
Summary: Skulduggery Pleasant had never been a fan of Valkyrie Cains many partners. After a particularly rough date Skulduggery may finally confess his love for his partner. How will Valkyrie respond and will they be together? One shot- may be expanded Valkyrie is around 70/80
Relationships: Valkyrie Cain & Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain/Original Character(s), Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Her Partners Were Pathetic

Skulduggery Pleasant was standing in the doorway of the master bedroom at the Grimwood house. He was watching Valkyrie get ready for the night. Her hair had already been curled and was hanging in soft waves framing her pale face. Skulduggery observed as she applied a pale pink shade to her cheeks, before adding a shimmer to the top of her cheek bones. He stayed silent watching, she looked beautiful.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Skulduggery asked. Even he noticed the slightly soft tone of his voice and made a conscious decision trying to fix it.

Valkyrie laughed, her head tilting back slightly. She turned away from her partner in the doorway and walked into the closet. "No! That would be weird don't you think?"

Skulduggery could hear clothes being pushed around, "Not at all. After all you are terribly dependent on me and I do drive you everywhere."

Valkyrie's head sprung out of the closet, her bare shoulders barely visible. "I am not dependent on you." Sounding annoyed she disappeared back inside.

"When's the last time you drove anywhere?"

"Who keeps track of that?"

"Will your car even start?"

There was silence from the closet as Valkyrie considered what he asked. "It should.." she sounded unsure. The head appeared slower this time, "Will you go check?" She sounded timid.

Skulduggery chuckled lightly, "Of course." He removed himself from the doorway and turned to go down stairs to the garage on the side of the house. Briefly, Skulduggery considered the idea of sabotaging the car so it wouldn't start. Which would make it necessary for him to drive Valkyrie tonight.

Valkyrie Cain had a date. It was with some no-one sorcerer that worked for China at the Sanctuary. The man's name was stupid, something or other Grimm. Skulduggery shook his head slowly. He had no issue with Valkyrie dating but the men and women she chose to be with could be a little ridiculous. Prime examples were Fletcher and the vampire. Being a sorcerer Valkyrie had plenty of time to date ridiculous people if that's what she wanted. In the past 55 years of their partnership she had only aged 1. Now at the young age of 77 she was used to having fun with her relationships, they weren't supposed to be serious yet.

Skulduggery minded some of her partners more than the others. For the past decade or so they had all been rather annoying. He tried to not think about why this may be. Skulduggery Pleasant had noticed new things about his partner recently. How much she had grown, how she was a women now, how funny she had become, how beautiful she was. The list went on and on. Skulduggery was coming to accept the fact that he was attracted to his partner. The feelings had been growing for ten years after all, it was getting to a point where it was difficult to ignore especially considering they spent almost every waking moment together.

Despite this he was doing his best.

Still this didn't mean that he didn't get jealous of the pathetic people she dated. Or slept with, as dating quite often wasn't involved.

Skullduggery shook his head as he made his way down the stairs, when he had reached the landing on the ground floor there was a knock at the front door. His head snapped to it. Quickly making his way across the hardwood floors, Skulduggery grasped the door handle and pulled it open revealing the pathetic something or other Grimm on the other side.

The boy- because he was a boy not a man- looked young. Not that that meant anything for a sorcerer. He was holding a bouquet of half wilted flowers in one hand. When Skulduggery opened the door something or other Grimm startled since he was expecting a young girl and not a 500 year old skeleton. "Is this not Valkyrie Cain's house?" He managed to choke out.

"It is."

"Is she here?"

"She is."

There was a pause as Grimm thought of what to say next.

"I'm here to pick her up?" His statement came more as a question.

Skulduggery stared at the boy on the doorstep. Who did he think he was coming to take his partner away for the night like that? What gave him the right to whisk Valkyrie away?

Footsteps could all of a sudden be heard on the stairs. Both of the people in the landing turned to look at the stairs as Valkyrie came down them. She was wearing an emerald green long sleeved dress that hugged her curves before flaring at her hips. The top completely covered her, but you could tell there was a beautiful woman under it. The dark color seemed to shimmer as she moved, catching the light at every turn. Her makeup was done lightly and beautifully. Giving her a glow that appeared natural but also showed she had put effort into her appearance.

"Anthony, I thought I was meeting you at the restaurant?"

Anthony, that was his name. Valkyrie reached the landing now, her long legs moved slowly down teasing them, both men seemed speechless. She reached where Skulduggery was standing at the open door by a coat rack. Skulduggery briefly tore his gaze away from her, reaching for the protective black jacket hanging there. He held it for her arms to slip into.

"I thought it would be nice to pick you up." Anthony Grimm smiled dazzlingly at the women. "I brought you flowers!" He thrust them out.

Skulduggery watched as Valkyrie smiled at Anthony Grimm. "Thank you," she said as she pulled her hair from under the coat colar. "Come in and I'll put them in a vase."

Valkyrie had taken the flowers from Grimm and turned to walk to the kitchen, her heels clicking on the wood floors. Anthony slowly stepped into the house and next to Skulduggery Pleasant. The men stared at each other neither saying a word now that Valkyrie was gone.

"So, you're the one attempting to date me partner.." Skulduggery's voice came out much smoother than he thought it would. Quiet enough that Valkyrie would not hear.

"Ahh, yes I supposed so."

"Good luck with that."

All of a sudden Valkyrie's voice came from the kitchen, "Anthony I'm sure you have heard about my partner. Skull- this is Anthony…"

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant stayed at the Grimwood house after the couple left for dinner. He had claimed to need the library when Valkyrie asked if he was heading home. In reality, he wanted to make sure that Miss. Cain made it home.

It was almost midnight when a taxi pulled into the driveway.

Skulduggery watched from the library window as Valkyrie seemed to stumble out of the taxi alone. He watched intrigued as the girl struggled to put on foot in front of the other while making her way towards the door. Was she drunk? He watched curiously before he came out of his amusement and realized his partner was struggling.

He quickly and quietly made his way down the stairs and to the front door, pulling it open just in time to see Valkyrie give up and sit on the stairs. At the sound of the front door opening she turned to face him.

"I guess he didn't realize that I was Darquesse." Valkyrie's words were quiet and reserved. If you didn't know her you wouldn't have thought she was intoxicated or very upset but Skulduggery knew her better than anyone. Valkyrie's eyes were focused just past him and wouldn't rest on anything for too long. As if they were trying to hide the guilt. Her words, while soft, were slurred and she was struggling to put them together. Whether she was struggling because of the topic or because she had been drinking, he wasn't sure. Even the way she sat was just off enough that the skeleton could tell just how upset she was, and the breeze causing her to sway indicated her current state.

"I see." Skulduggery moved to sit beside her, closer than he normally would have. The excuse in his head was she needed the support right now, both physically and emotionally. He scooted closer to her as she swayed more dramatically, ignoring the dirt that must be accumulating on his suit. He put an arm around her shoulders, to show support.

"It was fine for a while and then it came up and he didn't put it together I guess?" She was flipping her hand back and forth while telling the story. She started to lean up against him, head on his shoulder. "I don't know how he didnt but whatever!" She was practically tucked into his side now, and he had to strain his neck to look down at her as she spoke. She looked up at him from beneath his arm. "I hate it." There were tears in her eyes. "Everyone I date loves or hates her. It either breaks us up or it's why they want to date me. She's gone and she still has so much control over me, I'm tired of it." Valkyrie saged against his side.

For a moment he is silent as he doesn't know what to say. This wasn't an issue he had ever had to deal with. People still didn't know that at one point Skulduggery Pleasant was Lord Vile. People looked at the detective and hated him for him, not for a monster he once was but has since defeated. Skulduggery never had to deal with the effects of Veils reign. Not like Valkyrie dealt with Darquesses.

"I'm sorry." Came Skulduggery's reply, there was nothing else to say.

"I just want someone to be with me because of me and in spite of me. Does that make sense?" She rapidly turned where she was sitting to face him head on. She was bobbing back and forth but she was doing her best to stare him in the eyes. Tears were welling up in Valkyrie's eyes, threatening to spill over. "Does that make sense?" She asked again. "Love me for Valkyrie not Darquesse, and love me despite who I became. That's all I want, is that too much to ask?" Her hands were softly resting on Skulduggery's knees as she used them to steady herself. Still staring intently into his eye sockets, one or two tears began to spill over.

"That makes perfect sense." Skulduggery took one of her hands gently, as if afraid of scaring her with any sudden movement. The other went to wipe away her tears as they fell. "I love you like that, Valkyrie. Never forget it."

His partner's eyes softened. "Of course you do Skul," she withdrew one of her hands from his and placed it on his cheek. All of a sudden her swaying ceased and she looked coherent. She leaned in, her lips pressing to his teeth. They stayed like that for a second, Valkyrie attempting to kiss Skulduggery. Skulduggery sitting in a tense silence, not sure if he should kiss his partner back. He was attracted to her and loved her more than anything, but she was drunk and young. This wouldn't end well.

Just as suddenly as she leaned in, Valkyrie pulled away. "Right." She said, the swaying had resumed. "Right," she repeated before shooting to her feet and running inside. The door slammed behind her before Skulduggery could comprehend her actions.

It took the skeleton a minute to gather his thoughts but once he knew what he was going to do he sprang to his feet. She may be young and drunk but she was also Valkyrie and she needed to know how he felt. As Skulduggery Pleasant turned to the door he was determined to tell her everything, he knew even if she did not receive it well their friendship would survive. It had survived much worse than a skeleton being in love with her. His hand paused on the door. In love with her, he hadn't thought that before. Sure he knew he loved her and thought she was attractive but in love with her was something different entirely. He had to speak to her, his hand twisted on the doorknob.

And was met with resistance. She had locked the door. The detective on the porch was momentarily shocked, she had never locked him out before. If anything though, this showed that he needed to explain to her right then. He slid a hand into his jacket pocket to retrieve his key for the Grimwood house, just as he did he could hear a window above him open.

Looking up he saw a pale hand wearing an emerald long sleeve top pop out, something was in the hand. It opened and the object fell. The keys to the Bently hit the ground with a thud.

As the window closed above him and with no other sign from Valkyrie, he knew it was best not to push her and time to leave.

* * *

It had been a week since Valkyries last date. Skulduggery Pleasant tried to stop at the Grimwood house every day in an effort to see her but he was always either turned away at the door or recieved a text that she wasn't coming in to work that day. Any communication from Skulduggery was ignored by the girl.

It was now a rainy Wednesday and Skulduggery was driving home from the Sanctuary. He pulled up to a stop light and turned his head to the passenger seat. This was enough, he decided. He needed to talk to Valkyrie and explain everything. He had given her time to process and think about what happened after her date, now it was time to talk.

The light turned green and Skulduggery's foot pressed on the accelerator. He could be at the Grimwood estate in 10 minutes if he sped.

There was a motorcycle in the driveway. Only one person would drive a motorcycle in this weather, Tanith Low was visiting.

Skulduggery stepped out of the Bently and started walking up the front steps. Slow, calm, and controlled. Out of the corner of his gaze he saw the curtains twitch and knew the girls inside were watching him. The front door was pulled open before he had a chance to knock.

"'Ello Skulduggery!" The blond girl smiled broadly at him, playfully exaggerating her English accent.

"Hello Tanith, how are you?"

"Im great! It's been a while." She stepped forward and pulled the door shut slightly so it framed her. Tanith stood strongly in the doorway and there was no room to go around her. Skulduggery recognized what was happening, Valkyrie was still upset and had called her friend. Tanith, practically being the girl's older sister, had come to protect her.

"Is my partner in?" Skulduggery asked, waiting for her response to better assess the situation.

The English girl's smile slipped from her face in an instant. Well that wasn't good. "I think you know she doesn't want to see you."

"Well, I need to see her. Tanith, I'm asking nicely. Please let me in." He could tell Tanith was surprised by his calmness. He took advantage of this by grabbing her arm and pulling her into a spin, which resulted in her being outside of the house and him in. "Sorry Tanith." He wasn't sorry.

The front door was closed quickly and loudly in the blonde womens shocked face, before she had time to react. He flipped the lock into place knowing it wouldn't really do anything to stop her, but maybe it would give him enough time.

"Is he gone?" Valkyrie's voice came from the kitchen.

Skulduggery quickly crossed the landing to there, as he entered the doorway he saw Valkyrie turn eyes wide. She recognized the difference in footsteps and knew who it was. They briefly stared at each other. Her face was pale, eyes surrounded by bags and sunken in.

"You haven't been sleeping." Was the first thing he said, she nodded in acknowledgement. "You've been avoiding me." She was slower now but there was another nod.

The front door burst open and Tanith walked in, hair slightly frizzy and out of place looking annoyed. She glared at Skulduggery. "Sorry Val, he-"

Valkyrie cut her off, "It's okay, Tan. Can you give us a moment?"

Tanith studied her little sister's eyes, considering the request for a second before she nodded. "I'll be in the library.." She turned quickly and made her way out, but not before glaring at Skulduggery.

If looks could kill, he briefly thought.

"You haven't been sleeping." He stated again now that they were alone, again she nodded. "Nightmares?" Her back was to him now but she nodded again, she was filling the kettle in the sink. Skulduggery knew however, this was just an excuse to hide her face. No point in postponing it any longer, "Can we talk about what happened?"

Valkyrie Cain whirled to face him, kettle still in hand. Water sloshed over the side. "Do we have to? Can't we just pretend it didn't happen?"

"If that's what you want. But it did."

"I don't know what I want."

"If you think it was a mistake, then we forget and move past it."

"I dont think that."

"I know, but- Wait, what?" Skulduggery looked at her, his head tilting at a curious angle. Their responses had been traded so quickly it almost didn't register to him that she said it wasn't a mistake.

"I never said it was a mistake." She repeated herself slowly. "I wanted it, I knew what I was doing. But you clearly didn't want it, maybe that makes it a mistake though." She turned away again, placing the kettle on the stove and dropping a towel on the puddle she had made.

Skulduggery could tell she was hiding from him. Valkyrie Cain was never a shy person but when it came to big news or important conversations she had a tendency to act like the conversation wasn't important or interesting to her, which is clearly what she was doing now. "Valkyrie, please look at me." The skeleton watched as she turned slowly, her dark hair was framing her face and her sunken eyes barely came up to meet his. "It wasn't a mistake." Her eyebrows shot up at his statement. "Well, maybe the mistake was not kissing you back." Skulduggery amended what he was saying.

Valkyrie Cain rolled her eyes and began to turn away, "You are just saying that to make me feel bet-"

Skulduggery crossed the kitchen in 3 steps. One of his gloved hands came up to cup the back of her neck, strong enough to pull her in but gently enough to let her back away if that was what she desired. The other arm snaked around her waist drawing her body into his. She melded against him looking up into his eye sockets for a brief second before the pair crashed together.

Briefly Valkyrie's lips met Skulduggery's teeth before he moved on. Using his hand on her neck he moved it up into her hair gently grabbing it and using it to guide her head back, giving him access to her neck. He trailed his teeth down her jaw and neck, gently nipping along the way. Trying to show her that he was not lying to make her feel better, he wanted this just as she did. He was enjoying the light moans that were coming from his partner, he tightened his grip on her hair.

Valkyrie's eyes had closed while she enjoyed his attention, her knees were starting to feel weak like she needed to sit down. All of a sudden she could hear footsteps above them, she was briefly confused before she remembered Tanith was also home. Valkyrie's eyes shot open and she shoved against Skulduggery's chest, pushing them apart as he still wasn't holding her tightly enough to keep her there.

Skulduggery's hands were at his side in an instant, head bowed in an apology. "Valkyrie, I must have misunderstood."

"Tanith is here." She reminded him softly. His head came up in understanding.

"Right, of course."

Valkyrie gave him a soft shy smile, "I'll be right back." She hurried out of the kitchen while smoothing her hair down.

He could hear her footsteps on the stairs and briefly wondered what she was doing. There were quiet voices drifting down from the library but nothing could be made out, the silence was suddenly broken by a loud laugh he recognized as Taniths and the sound of someone hitting someone else.

The kettly started whistling on the stove so he moved to deal with it while waiting for the girls to come down. He didn't think anyone was interested in tea right now but he needed the distraction and something to do with his hands. Skulduggery's mind was racing as he tried to comprehend what just happened between him and Valkyrie. He thought that when he came over he would explain his feelings and she would be uninterested, either due to his age or the fact that he was a skeleton. At least where what they had just been doing was concerned Valkyrie did not appear to mind either.

Loud footsteps came running down the stairs, Skulduggery barely had time to turn around before Tanith ran by the kitchen laughing, "Bye Skulduggery!" She was out the front door as quickly as she had come down the stairs, he heard the motorcycle start and she was gone in no time.

Valkyrie descended the stairs much slower and calmer. Stopping in the kitchen doorway where Skulduggery was standing, mug in hand.

"I finished the tea." He held the mug out to her.

"I dont care."

Skulduggery Pleasant recognized the look in Valkyrie's eyes. It was the same one she gave a shirtless Dexter Vex 60-some odd years ago, the same one she gave her brief flings, and the same one she gave girls in the bars she occasionally drug him to. She really did want him, skeleton and all.

Skulduggery set down the mug and waved her forward, she walked to him slowly and gracefully stopping just in front of where he was. He lifted his hands to rest lightly on her waist, something he had done thousands of times but now it was different. "I don't want to be one of your flings." Skulduggery took that moment to warn her.

Valkyrie smiled and shook her head, "I know that and you're my best friend, I wouldn't do that to you."

"I meant what I said the other day. I love you."

"I know that too."

"This is where you say it back."

Valkyrie snorted, "All the times I said it and you never responded means I don't have to. You should know."

Skulduggery's head tilted to the side curiously. "I suppose that's fair." She was watching him but she couldn't tell where he was looking. That was the advantage of just having eye sockets and no eyes he supposed. "So do you want to talk about this now or.." He trailed off, he got his answer when she reached up to his jaw and pulled his head down to meet hers.

Lips on teeth again, she was kissing him. Her hands moved around to his chest where they held onto his tie and started to pull him with her, moving towards the stairs and he knew they would end in her bedroom.

Eventually they made it up the stairs and down the hall to the master suite. Pausing every so often. When they had gotten to the stairs and Valkyrie tore herself away to turn and go up, Skulduggery had grabbed her waist pulling her backside into him which caused her to sway. When they started stumbling down the upstairs hallway Valkyrie had pulled him to her against a wall while her fingers worked at his tie, pulling it off and getting to work on the buttons of his shirt quickly.

Skulduggery's hands were just as eager on her, never removing any clothing though. As he was trying to remain respectful of his young partner. They finally had burst into the master suite. Valkyrie pulled away from him and walked away, turning to face him again once she was next to the bed. Skulduggery suddenly seemed unsure, while he had said nothing would change their relationship seeing her here now, knowing what was about to happen he was unsure.

"Are you sure?" Skulduggery stood where she left him, his fingers working at the buttons on his sleeves before moving to what was left of the buttons on his chest.

"Aren't you?" Valkyrie shot back. He took notice of what she was wearing for the first time. It was a zip up pajama jacket and shorts, she raised a hand slowly to the zipper which she grasped and started to pull downwards revealing her pale skin beneath. Skulduggery watched her hand move down, any protests melting away from his mind.

"I've loved you in some way or another for the past 60 years, Valkyrie Cain. I've been attracted to you for 10. I've hated everyone you dated all this time. I've been jealous, I wanted you for my own. I am sure."

Valkyrie's eyes widened slightly at his confession, "And here I thought you were just annoyed by my partners."  
"They were flings. I'm your partner."

"In every sense of the word?"

"Are you asking me out?"

His question caused Valkyrie's hand to still. She had been slowly lowering the zipper as their conversation continued, they were still on opposite sides of the bedroom. "Is that not what you wanted?" She started to turn away, "I'm not going to just sleep with you.." He heard her declare softly. "Thats unfair, you know I love you but I won't do that."

In an instant he was beside her, "What about dinner and a movie?" His hand cupped her cheek gently forcing her to look up at him.

"Pizza. Your place." Her eyes narrowed at him.

"Nothing before the 1950s."

"80's."

"Thats a deal breaker, my dear."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and looked up at the skeleton standing above her. "It's a date." She slid her hands to his waist softly tracing around the waistband of his pants which were held up by magic. His shirt was resting open and she could see his ribs, spine, and clavicles.

"Indeed it is." Skulduggery's voice was soft but it waived slightly as Valkyrie's hands drew along his waistband.

"Now where were we?" Valkyrie asked as Skulduggery's hand slowly slid from her cheek to her hair.

Skulduggery chuckled as her head fell back easily giving him access to her throat. "Right about here." He whispered as he leaned down to press another kiss to her neck before pushing her down onto the bed.

They only left her bed when it finally came time for their date that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I love thinking about these two getting together, hopefully one day it happens. Super excited for Seasons of War cant wait to see what happens!
> 
> Please review! Love the feedback, also this story may be expanded on. I havent decided yet!


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